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Health & Fitness

Acceptance and Agreement.......Two Distinct Choices

Accepting something for what it is and agreeing with it are two very different things. This post describes the important difference between acceptance and agreement.

Let's pretend that I got fired from my job.  Do I hate this?.......Yes!  Do I think this is unfair?.......Yes!  I am very angry about the whole situation.  The more I think about it, the angrier I become.  The truth of the matter is that I probably won't ever come to the point of agreeing with my boss for her choice in firing me.  Question: Do I need to agree with her choice?  No, not necessarily.  So...I must re-focus my energy and tend to the issue at hand. I need to to accept the reality that I no longer have a job.  I need to accept that reality in order to make a mindful, wise decision about what to do next.  Although it may be difficult, doing so will allow me the freedom to concentrate on finding a productive way of dealing with the situation and moving forward.

Fighting, avoiding, and procrastinating are all energy draining activities.  Accepting reality is an energy-saver.  It's not a willy-nilly who cares attitude; its a proactive approach that transports you to the point of rationally evaluating your circumstances and deciding your next best step.  

The essence of accepting reality has to do with making a distinction between aspects of a situation that are within our control to change, and which ones are not.  Life can throw some curve balls our way when we least expect it.  When we are faced with what appear to be overwhelming circumstances, we are forced to make choices we would rather not have to make at all.  Accepting reality helps us navigate our way through those circumstances. 

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An analogy from my own life, albeit not a major crisis, highlights the process and benefits of accepting reality.  I have Lupus.  When I think about times when I have had to have a painful medical procedure, my emotional mind has yelled "run Sheila run!" and my reasonable mind has whispered "the procedure is necessary."  When I have recognized both my fear and my need for the procedure, I have settled on "let's do this thing, I will surely be uncomfortable for a while, but it is necessary and the long term benefits outweigh the temporary discomfort."  Ahhh...there is nothing like the peace that comes with a final decision.  Accepting both parts of reality 1) there will be pain 2) the procedure is necessary, helped me to come to the decision of going through it, which was in my best interest.  Accepting reality helped me do what needed to be done.  It helped me "bite the bullet" so to speak. 

No matter what your situation your perspective is within your power to change.  Accepting reality is a change  in perspective.  It neither agrees nor condones but simply accepts what is.

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What situations in your own life, either past or present need a reality acceptance overhaul?  In reflecting on those situations, what do you have the power to change?

"If you can't change your circumstances, change your perspective."  ~ Unknown

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