My fellow Patch editors in the south suburbs of Dakota County are some of the nicest, most inherently decent, upstanding professionals I have ever had the privilege to call peers.
I must destroy them all. Yes, destroy them.
's Facebook page must have the most fans in all the land. And that means we must clobber the competition upside the wireless mouse.
Each Patch has a Facebook fan page where people who have clicked "like" on the page can come read the news, talk over issues in town with their neighbors, and even share photos or links.
In some cases, it's more convenient for readers to get the news and chat with neighbors on Facebook. No doubt we'd love for you to visit Lakeville Patch seven times a day, but that's probably not realistic. Facebook? Admit it, you're on there all the time.
Lakeville Patch currently has 6944 Facebook likes. As was foretold by the prophets who will go unnamed, it will have the most Facebook likes of all the Patches in the region.
The only things standing between me and my destiny are my lovely, wonderful co-workers. They've gotta go.
I've made a hit list of eight of the friends and co-workers I must destroy to claim my rightful place as... guy with the most Patch Facebook fans in Dakota County.
The good news: your Lakeville Patch is second in all the land. The bad news, Northfield Patch (yes, really) is beating us—beating Lakeville—with 1,055 likes. That's just ... well, totally unacceptable.
The HIT LIST (remember, Lakeville Patch is at 694):
- Boss level: Northfield Patch's leader, Corey Butler, Jr. (1,055)
- Too close for comfort: Apple Valley-Rosemount Patch's lovely editor, Allison Wickler (570)
- Closing in: Eagan Patch's David Henke (529)
- Still kicking: Inver Grove Heights Patch's Jeff Roberts (487)
- Shakopee Patch's Lisa Baumann (454)
- Mendota Heights Patch's Danielle Cabot (329)
- Burnsville Patch's Clare Kennedy (313)
Click on the photos in this article to meet my friend/foes, see the target numbers I have to hit and, after you're done, remember to...
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